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Archive for January, 2007

Stupid Size Me

January 25th, 2007 at 6:04 am

It’s Wednesday night in Atlanta. What do you do? Beer pong at Wild Will’s, of course!

Willis and I arrive about 9:00 pm. We’re already a few beers behind, so we tap in and begin catching up. American Idol is on - it’s early in the season, so this is where you get to see all the terrible people make fools of themselves. I’ve seen my share of bad performances on American Idol, but tonight had some really bad stuff. Bad enough to keep Will and Shark locked on the set while Kummer and Les dropped not one but two bounce shots in the money while the defense was sleeping.

The night moved on and new adventures were to be had. After the night grew old, Willis and I departed, bound for home (yeah, I omitted a few details, but I’m not sure who’s reading this!). Before home, we decide to drive through McDonald’s for good measure. It goes something like this:

Employee: “Welcome to McDonald’s, can you please hold a moment?”
Me: “Um, okay…”

[Six minutes pass. I get impatient.]
Me: “Hello?”
Emp: “Yes, keep holding, please.”
Me: “Dustin, can he hear everything we say?”
DW: “Yeah.”
Me: “Cocksuckermotherfucker… what do you want?”
DW: “Heh. Get me a #3 as big as it comes.”
[More time passes. What the hell?]

Emp: “Hi, can I take your order?”
Me: “Yes, I’d like a #3 with every upgrade option you have.”
Emp: “I’m sorry?”
Me: “I’d like a #3 with all the supersizing you can give me.”
Emp: “That’s a #3. Would you like to supersize that?”
Me: “Shit. Yes. Supersize it. Quadrasize it. Whatever you’ve got.”
Emp: “And to drink?

[This guy obviously doesn’t think I’m funny]

Well, we got our order, without a hitch. They didn’t quadrasize it, but I guess I can live with just super size.

Oh dear… if only there were a camera around when we did stupid shit.

Written by jarrod.carlson

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